1. You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.
2. You find yourself cutting your husbands’ sandwiches into cute shapes.
3. You can’t bear to give away baby clothes – it’s so final.
4. You hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you say, “NOT in your good clothes!”
5. You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
6. You hire a sitter because you haven’t been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.
7. You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
8. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
9. Your kid throws up and you catch it.
10. Someone else’s kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.
11. You use your own saliva to clean your child’s face.
12. You’ve mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
13. Your child insists that you read “Once Upon a Potty” out loud in the lobby of Grand Central Station and you do it.
14. You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
15. You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it’s the only one your child eats.
16. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won’t get that disease.
17. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor, and you don’t care.
18. The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making Rice Krispie treats.
19. You no longer object to cold pizza for breakfast.
20. Your purse is crammed with emergency toys, candy and first aid supplies.
21. You can talk on the phone, pack a lunch & breast feed all once.
22. You wonder why it was you ever feared being alone.
23 You spend an entire week wearing sweats.
24. You can remove chewing gum from just about anything.
25. You say at least once a day, “I’m not cut out for this job”, but you know you wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Stacey O’Neale is a full-time writer and co-owner of the Young Adult Fantasy Guide. She’s had several articles and book reviews published, but spends most of her writing time on the revisions to her debut young adult fantasy novel. You can also follow her on Twitter.
Thanks to this Supermom blog for the list!